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Sunday, June 19, 2011

What I learned from my father

Anyone who knew my dad would agree that he was "larger than life" in more ways than one. One of my first memories of my dad was sitting on the porch of our house on Trafalgar Street in London, Ontario. It was a summer evening. Dad was watering the lawn with the hose and doing his trademark swoop with the stream of water to spray anyone walking by on the city sidewalk. (He was still pulling that stunt 40 years later.) He was whistling a ballad, the name of which I didn't know but I was entranced, watching him. He made whistling look effortless - so I gave it a try. I think the only thing that came out of my mouth was a little bit of spit, but I kept at it. I can still whistle.

Anyone I meet today who knew my dad always remembers his whistling. When we lived on the military base in Baden, Germany, you could hear him whistling several blocks away. If we got separated or lost in a store we only had to stop and listen for the whistling. It was entrancing and magical until the day he died.

It was on that same step that I first used my "low" voice - some people say it reminds them of Linda Blair in The Exorcist - but you heard it here first - I started using that voice when I was five. Dad taught me something silly to say to the people walking by in that silly voice - I think it was "Bob's your uncle!". I still have my "low" voice and use it occasionally to startle my grandchildren!

He had a sense of humour. I'm smiling right now thinking about his laugh which came from deep inside him. He always had something funny to say and he appreciated other people's sense of humour. He was forever asking me to tell and re-tell his favourite jokes.

He was kind. Oh so kind. Just thinking about some of things he did, without be asked, is making me smile. My sister dubbed him the "Food Fairy". When he and mom moved to Ottawa after they retired, my dad would often make dinner, and then deliver it to our house and my sister's place. We'd come home to find dinner with all the fixin's and a loaf of fresh bread laid out on the counter. Need a ride? He would drop everything and be there to pick you up and deliver you to your destination of choice. All of his grandchildren knew that they could always call Poppa Buck to pick them up. Need a dollar? Need a friend? Need a volunteer? Need some advice? Need a big lap to sit on? Need a hug? He gave it all freely with no strings attached.

He loved his family. His brothers and his sisters made him proud. His nieces and nephews were the apple of his eye. But he reserved his special attention for his kids and grandchildren.

His great-grandchildren and some additions to our family (sons-in-laws) never knew him but I see his traits every day in my kids and it makes my heart swell.

If he was alive today, I'd be having him over for dinner and we'd be making a big spaghetti dinner or my husband would be BBQ'ing a huge steak for him. He'd be sitting by the pool, whistling, singing, with a grandchild or two on his lap, holding court, with a Diet Coke close by his side.

He taught me a lot. I learned how to whistle and enjoy Nat King Cole and Eddie Arnold. I learned how to appreciate a good joke. I learned that family is everything. I learned that even if someone passes away their memories are always with you.

Happy Father's Day Dad. We all miss you.

5 comments:

  1. Such beautiful words, Mom. I will always remember Grandpa for his big laugh and even bigger heart. He was truly a wonderful man with a heart of gold; always giving and never asking for anything in return. Everyday I see a little bit of him in you and it keeps his memory alive inside of me.

    Happy Father's Day, Grandpa. I miss you and love you.

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  3. I should proofread - You sure can paint a picture with words, what a wonderful talent you have. I bet when you finished painting this portrait of your father, you had a tear in your eye. I did.

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  4. Thanks so much for sharing Rosemarie - I think about grandpa often, but that just brought him right back for me. As a kid, boy did I love spending time with Poppa Buck. I always think about him whistling in the mall when he used to take Kate, Rox, Naomi and I there and gave us money that I would spend completely on candy. And I remember once driving us all home and how he stopped and told a neighbouring boy that his niece Bubba had a crush on him. Soooo embarrassing, but even at the time, I think I kinda loved the daringness of it. Food, food, food... so many memories of grandpa and food. All you can eat at the Chinese buffet, breakfast at the market, McDonald's at camp borden, ice cream bars in their freezer in Angus, chips and scary movies with Rox, fries at the gold course... and of course, those unforgettable spaghetti meatball dinners... I guess I know where I get my love of food from :)
    xox

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  5. Unforgettable. That's what he was to a young American backpacking across Germany in 1972.

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